It's Salmonella Sunday!!

Woohoo, and a very happy Salmonella Sunday to all of you.

I have not eaten takeout since mid August. I've been a good girl, all healthy and domestic and stuffs. So, when D offers to order wings today I figured why not. It's Sunday, we've got football, we've got racing, I could get tons done by not having to make dinner or clean up afterwards.

Yeah, right. So, for now, I'm just babbling. Throwing some odd stuff out there for all the interwebz stalkers.

My Mother. She's an odd lady. Completely wonderful, but odd.

Mini-me is vegetarian. Not militant vegan, mind you,  just easing into the new lifestyle vegetarian. One day, early June she tells me she's vegetarian and BOOM, she stops eating meat. (That's the thing about Mini-Me, she's stubborn, principled and not the child I ever have to worry about peer pressure affecting)

As Turkey-Day is approaching, jokes are being made. I am already doing one turkey in the oven, one will be deep-fried, do I have to shape one entirely out of veggie patties for her?? (She's happy with stuffing, don't worry about her, bless her soul) My Mother's response is, she can eat Turkey, they're ugly, they don't count.

I'm almost afraid to throw that out on the web for all to see, some of the more fundie organizations have protested for less, and I do not want to start some horrible event in Podunk, NW PA all because my mother pointed out turkeys are ugly. (They really are, but that's not the point) I think I'm just trying to throw out there, my mother is really funny. Not in an Emo Phillips kinda way, (a girl can dream), but she's funny. She doesn't even try to be. I'd really like to fix her up with that Shit My Dad Says guy. Hey, she's Italian, cute, and has a mouth like you wouldn't believe when she wants to or loses it.

Ask BFF, she's been in a car with her. I learned, probably in utero, more English and Italian curse words than any one person has a right to know. My Mother can let loose a litany of filth that would make Andrew Dice Clay blush! (Remember her trying to back out of my Aunt's driveway.... Jes*s, G*d D*mn, M*ther F*cking, S*n of a B*tch, M*ther F*cking, sh*t sucking G*d D*mn Jumped Up Chr*st) Of course, immediately following such an 'outburst' she lapses back into the penitent catholic who would never have let such vulgarities fall from her mouth. It was kinda a Sybil thing. (I come by it honestly)

Oh, and the Italian. It's priceless. I can remember getting dish soap in my mouth at the age of 9 for repeating something my grandfather and mother said all the time. Apparently I had been saying the equivalent of 'F*ck You' for quite some time, never realized it. I thought I was showing off how intelligent and worldly I was by being bilingual. HA!

I'm pretty sure that's where I get my sense of humor, twisted as it is. (That and pretending to sleep while Grandma watched Benny Hill). 

So, there's a small peek into my background.  Splains lots, don't it???

Till then...